For Mother’s Day, we’d first like to acknowledge that mother-daughter relationships are rarely uncomplicated. That, of course, is not to disavow the love or attachment that is woven into our relationships with the women who gave birth to us or raised us; but it’s not always simple, is it? This year, we’d like to highlight some of our favorite memoirs by brilliant women who recount the sticky, prickly relationships they had with their own mothers — some of them icons in their own rights.
Mommie Dearest by Christina Crawford
A classic. When you think of the abusive mother memoir, it’s hard not to think of Mommie Dearest as the grandmother of the genre. Christina Crawford’s harrowing memoir about her mother, the glamorous silver screen starlet Joan Crawford, has also been iconified forever by Faye Dunaway’s performance in the 1981 movie of the same name.
I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy
We’ll never get over this book by Jennette McCurdy, who was a child star in Nickelodeon shows during the network’s early 2000’s hey-day. Not only did she have to deal with Dan Schneider, who we now know to be a vile creep who should have never been working with children, but she also experienced a tormented relationship with her controlling stage mom.
How to Lose Your Mother by Molly Jong-Fast
Many of us read and admired Erica Jong’s Fear of Flying, a seminal work in second-wave feminism. The woman whose writing liberated so many others, though, was a complicated figure behind closed doors. In an excruciatingly candid memoir, Molly Jong-Fast describes her experience of maternal narcissism and neglect, and the pain of watching her brilliant mother’s descent into dementia.
Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner
This book had us crying in the Asian grocery store, too. Michelle Zauner of Japanese Breakfast writes a shining memoir about grief following the loss of her mother. She explores the painful tug-of-war between her Korean heritage and American upbringing, her often combative relationship with her mother, and the role that food plays in connection and memory.
What My Bones Know by Stephanie Foo
Oof, this one is beautifully written but rough, and that’s saying something considering the rest of the books on this list. in What My Bones Know, Stephanie Foo writes about living with C-PTSD following an upbringing characterized by maternal abuse and abandonment. She explores how trauma lives on in the body long after the inciting incident and her journey to manage its impact.
