On Spinsters Row, many of us are a bit precious when it comes to heat intolerance, so thank heavens we don’t actually live in the Victorian Era. We would never be able to cope with all those heavy layers and corsets without central AC and a cold pitcher of margaritas in the fridge. And heat waves back in the olden days weren’t just oppressive because of the temperature. The heat also came with the unbearable stench of sewage cooking in the sun, so much so that in London, the summer of 1858 was known as “The Great Stink.”
So to recap: we’re waaaay better off today, but we still get to play at being wilting flowers when the temperature starts to creep up. Thankfully, we have some thoughts on how best to beat the heat.
When in Doubt, Add Liquid
First off—beverages. We love all sorts of beverages here on Spinsters Row! You know that coworker whose desk is always covered in an array of drinks, from coffees to teas to sparkling waters and ginger shots? That’s us. The more drinks the better. When you’re drinking a lot of liquid, you stay cool and hydrated, with the only downside being that you’re going to need to use the lavatory constantly.
Violet Bellflower, proprietor of the spiritual salon on Spinsters Row, is an old hand (or paw) at mixing elixirs and tinctures. For your next seaside escape, she recommends her favorite summer mocktail recipe.
Miss Bellflower’s Violet Squeeze
Ingredients:
- 8 oz. club soda
- 2 oz. citrus or ginger soda of choice
- 3 oz. non-alcoholic violet syrup
- A squeeze of fresh lemon or lime juice
- Fresh violets or a sprig of lavender to garnish
Instructions:
- Add the club soda, citrus or ginger soda, and violet syrup to a glass and stir
- Squeeze in lemon or lime juice
- Add as many ice cubes as you like (bonus points if they come in fun shapes)
- Garnish with a single violet bloom or sprig of lavender
- Enjoy!
Sun protection for the most discerning spinsters
We may not be swooning Victorian maidens who wish to keep our skin translucent and our veins visible (consumption chic is out), but sun protection is still a must. It turns out that slathering oneself with oil and lying out in the sun for hours on end isn’t great for skin health, despite what we were taught in the 80s. And please, stay away from Sun-In unless you’re looking for the crunchiest, straw-like hair. We recommend staying protected in style with oversized sunglasses that make you look like you’re hiding a secret, and hats that either scream cottagecore picnic or “yee-haw” (depending on the vibe you’re going for).
Indoor games for indoor cats
Our final heatwave advice for those who just can’t deal with the sun or heat? Stay inside. Vampires get a bad rap for wanting to draw the curtains and hiss at the sunlight, but maybe they’ve got the right idea. When stepping outside means being drenched in your own sweat in a matter of minutes, it’s a good time to keep things indoors. We’re sure your friends will be happy to join you for a summer game night or tarot card reading in a cool, dark room—especially if you have central AC and lots of snacks on hand.
So stay hydrated, don’t toss your waste out of the window and onto the cobblestone streets while people are walking, and consider planning a trip to the seaside to ease your nerves. You deserve it.
